Today I woke up feeling exceptionally bright after getting a long 10 hours of sleep, typically too much for me but I suppose the cleanse has created a need for rest. I slept soundly the whole time which is rare for me. I've been an insomniac my whole life and I'm used to waking several times through the night when I do fall asleep.
I woke up and made coffee, something I haven't done in a couple of weeks. After making but not drinking the coffee, I drank water, washed my face, scrubbed the teeth, used my neti pot and then dove into a nice and energetic yoga practice complete with chanting. As I practiced the coffee cooled down to room temperature, perfect for a coffee enema. If you're a coffee lover you'll delight in knowing that coffee isn't only for mouths, you can put it in your butt too. Yah, I know, pretty awesome.
IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm no expert on enemas, I barely know anything. If this is something you want to do for yourself, use my blog as inspriation but do your own research and consult those who think they are experts. There are all sorts of resources avaialble both in print and online, with lots of information that I don't include here.
In preparation, I read several instructionals on coffee enemas, because I've never done one before and it seemed like I should read about how to do it correctly. Bascially, you make coffee, a quart or so, let it cool, and then put it in the enema bag. You need to suspend the bag atleast two feet off the ground, but no too high because you don't want too much pressure- whoa. You prepare the floor with towels and a pillow to be comfy, because this thing takes a little time and floors are hard and cold. And plus, if you don't make it to the toilet when that rush of "omg now!" happens, you've got a towel already there to catch the unfortunate mess. Find a timer and put it in the bathroom, and if you're really easy going about it, bring a book.
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| My bathroom with towls and a book and an enema |
Once you are in the proper position on the floor, grab the hose and insert the small tube into your lone star. You want to allow about 2 cups of coffee to enter your body. I guess it's important to make sure you only do 2 cups, but I didn't know how to measure that so I just guessed. Once you feel that you've got 2 cupsa jo in your colon, clamp the hose and set the timer to 12 minutes. The goal is to hold the coffee in for 12-15 minutes.
So, in theory, once you're there, you're just all cool and comfortable and you can just grab a book and do some casual reading while you wait. Not me. I brought a book with me, just in case, but I can not concentrate on reading when so much is going on. When it enters I feel it running through me and I am too aware of what's happening inside of me. While you're waiting, you experience all sorts of interesting sensations, from feeling basically nothing to intense waves of lower belly nausea like you're about to have a diarrhea attack pass through you. When that happens I breath deep and contract myself without stressing, it's a gentle hold, not a strong clench, and then it passes. At some point, the feeling doens't pass, it grows. Once you get to the point where you simply can't hold it without a lot of work, it's time to rise up, sit on that joyful thrown let it all go. Ahhhhhh, my gaaawd is that a relief! A very deep and lovely release. Stay there for a few minutes, don't get up, because that first release may just be one several more to come. Stay seated until you're sure you're done.
Clean yourself up really good. I keep baby wipes next to the toilet at all times and I recommend them especially for this experience. It can be messy. The nice thing is that your shit smells like coffee.
And then you do it again. Get back on the floor. The goal is to have 2 rounds of coffee enemas that you are able to hold for 12-15 minutes each. I held the first for 8 minutes, and the second for 10 and a half, so I technically failed. But whatever, I'll practice and get better. I did not get sexually aroused but I wish I had, would have made for a better story.
I've read that at some point you'll hear or feel a squirt or gush underneath your rib cage. That's your gall bladder releasing bile that will aid in the elimination of toxins. I held my left hand on my rib cage while lying there, trying to feel it, but it never happened. If after doing this for a week you don't feel it, they recommend that you make your coffee stronger. Noted.
One thing I messed up on is that I've read you're supposed to boil the coffee grinds in water for 5 minutes. I just made mine in a french press because curiosity. Next time I'll boil the grounds like they say to do and see how it changes things.
So then you finish up, wash yourself. The whole proceedure takes around 45 minutes. Take a nice shower if you like, and go about your day, or write a blog about it and tell all your friends:)
So there you are, a blog about self administering not just any ordinary enema, but a coffee enema. Thanks for reading, you wierdos. Big love!
WEIGHT 103
ENERGY Before the enema, when I was practicing yoga, I felt weak and off balance. After the enema my energy was amazing and I felt better than I have all fast. This makes me think that the whole letting my body deal with cleaning naturally while on a fast might not be the best idea. There might be something to the assist after all, even if the processes don't stop on their own. I'm going to do one of these every day till the end of this fast, that's how good I felt afterward.
JUICES
I've just got to say that this juice was exceptionally delicious and I highly recommend it.
26 oz grapefruit- 312
.5 oz beet- 3
1.5 oz bet greens- 8
2 oz spinach- 3.5
22 oz pinapple- 363
52 oz at 689 calories
19 oz carrot- 223
4 oz beet- 21
3 oz beet greens- 16
11 oz cucumber- 96
2.5 oz turnip- 16
2 oz parsley- 11
4.5 oz apple- 67.5
.5 oz lemon- 3.3
.5 oz ginger- none
3 oz celery- 16
58 oz at 510 calories
Total 110 ounces at 1199 calories
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